isabelle thye

How to practise self-love when the world is not going your way

There will be days when you feel stuck in the rut and go nowhere.

It doesn’t matter how much you’ve done, how many self-help books you’ve read or how many inspirational quotes you stick on the mirror.

I felt stuck when I kind of knew what I should want but I didn’t know specifically what or why I want it. I looked at everything around me except myself.

What kind of life am I living? Why am I living this life? Whose standard am I living by?

That feeling is real, it sucks; but it doesn’t have to be a loop that goes on and on.

Give yourself permission to relax

“Most people don’t quite know what they want to do with their lives. Yet they are very active.” — Ryan Holidays

A couple months ago, I had a lot going on and yet didn’t know where I was headed. Panic, I forced myself harder, thinking that I will be missing out precious time if I slowed down.

Looking back, I felt sorry that I tortured myself without awareness.

I met a digital nomad who showed me another way of life that was full of adventures and growth — something I used to have but lost in the process of ‘becoming’.

He inspired me to join a silent meditation retreat that shifted my whole paradigm.

Slowing down gave me an opportunity to have a clear look at life, to understand that there is time to swim and time to float. It was the best gift I could give myself.

Give yourself permission to wander

While I was busy setting up goals that I wasn’t sure about, I was stuck in a scarcity mindset, going to the same co-working space, repeating the same routine, thinking about the same problem.

After the silent retreat, it became clear to me that nothing will change if I stay still and live with the same mind that created the confusions, I needed to get out and experience life.

I took up a 10 days solo trip to a new country and signed up for a 10 days Vipassana meditation retreat.

My way of life may seem crazy to some people — why are you so free? Don’t you have to work?

Wandering is work. It is an investment in myself.

This passage from Zat Rana speaks to my heart:

“The point of travelling isn’t to find ourselves, and it’s also not to run away from our problems, but it’s lose ourselves: to ignore the rigid stories about who we are that so strongly define our daily lives; to become unconditioned from the mono-culture so deeply infused in our psyche that we forget that there are more ways to live than one.”

Give yourself permission to celebrate life

“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” — Bill Gates

From feeling stuck to gaining clarity about the change I want to make, the major difference was that I shifted my perspective from ‘who I want to be’ to ‘what I can give to the world’.

Then comes the work of creation — a slow process of ideation, experimentation, reiteration.

I still feel doubtful on the days when I couldn’t see much progress. To creating something I couldn’t see yet, managing my energy to keep believing and keep on going takes conscious effort.

In being mindful, breathing and smiling, life is long enough for me to take a break and celebrate the beauties, love, be grateful and send love.

Life is also precious enough that I should live with my highest expression right this moment.

Connect with yourself

‘Feeling stuck’ is an emotion that comes from the separation between our expectation and the reality.

When I was able to connect with my inner self, everything that brings joy to my life such as the blue sky, fresh air, and nature, are free!

In that space, feeling the energy of creation and abundance from within, I’m inspired to share and give instead of making a meticulous plan to build ‘my brand’.

I truly believe that when we stop controlling life and connect with our inner self, the world will surprise us with its infinite abundance.

It could be something as simple as waking up with joy and inspiration to do something good today.


Hi, I am Isabelle, author of ‘The Art of Owning Your Story’, you can click here to download a bonus chapter of my book!

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