A Millennial’s Truth #9: The fear of not being good enough
When the idea of writing a book for millennial first came to me, I jumped at it in excitement. As the idea sank in, I was overwhelmed with fear.
‘Am I good enough?’, ‘Do people care about what I say?’, ‘How will people judge me?’, ‘Will it hurt?’
These thoughts sucked the excitement of the new adventure out of me. I became doubtful of my work. Then I started to observe my thoughts in order to figure out how to be ‘good’.
Fear is in your mind
Nobody ever tells me that I am a bad writer. I laughed at myself when this moment of truth struck.
When I dove deeper into all my self-manufactured and self-limiting thoughts, I found that I was afraid of failure and judgment.
When I was a kid, whenever I got hurt, mum would come to me with worries spilling all over her face. It was pure love, but we learned how to react from our parent.
As I grew up, screwed up and fell in life, I learned that every mistake imparts an invaluable lesson.
I have to change my script. It is my responsibility to create positive vibe so that I don’t let self-doubt stops me from taking action. It is all in my head and I have to win this mind game.
What is your ‘why’
When I told people about writing a book, some people told me it will not make money and advised me not to waste my time.
Everyone sees my best interest through the paradigm of their lives, and that’s okay.
If I believe in my power to make changes; I have to be so strong, so resilient, so fearless and so unshakable that nothing could stop me from putting my work out there.
‘It doesn’t matter what happens to you or where you come from, it matters what you do with what happens and what you’ve been given.’ Ryan Holiday
I write because it helps me to deal with my emotions, struggle, and make sense of it all when I am able to connect dots. When people connect with my stories, it empowers me to keep going knowing that words could create ripples in people’s life.
Tell your own story
I connect with people when I am willing to be vulnerable and share the dark moments in my life.
When I lost my uncle, I realised that it was too late to tell our loved ones ‘thank you, I love you’ at the end of their life.
I wrote about it, wishing people could see what I see and start expressing love and gratitude to people who matter to them.
I might not be the best writer to craft a compelling story, but I could be the best in telling my own story.
Sometimes I was too occupied with everyday life that I never ask myself, ‘what is my life about?’, ‘what makes me happy?’, ‘what am I good at?’, ‘how can I help people?’
I needed time and space to figure out what mattered, and I needed to understand the combination of different strengths that make up my unique personality ‘DNA’.
When I understood myself, I was able to define my own success, happiness and put them within me.
I felt triumphed when my articles get published, tweeted, shared or recommended. It warmed my heart when people thanked me for writing articles that resonate with their life.
These little things might not be important to many people, but they fuelled me from within knowing that my words had positive impacts in people’s life.
A live interview
My article ‘The fear of not being good enough’ was picked up by the host of Millennial Report5, Wade Heath. He tweeted me to ask if I was interested to do a short interview with him.
I reread his tweet a few times – me? Interview? Across the globe? It felt surreal and I said yes.
Amidst the excitement, I had so many ‘what if’ in my mind. What if I blanked out? what if I said something wrong? what if I stuttered?
I knew in my heart that I had to live what I wrote – to get over the fear of not being good enough.
Before the interview, I went through the same cycle of fear all over again – racing heart rate, loss of appetites, unnecessary yet excessive worries…
Despite all these, I knew that there was no turning back but to march straight into fear with my head held high.
By the end of the interview, I exploded with triumph in my heart.
Was I amazing? Maybe not.
But I showed up and did something I never thought I could, that’s amazing.
Am I good enough?
When I did things that scared me, it meant that I was expanding my comfort zone and transcending into a new level.
It is natural to have my inner critical voice raising self-doubt as a form of self-protection. My job is not to eliminate critical voice, but to develop a new voice that overpowers self- doubt.
This voice is filled with love and kindness. It is free from ego and judgment. It carries passion and purpose.
I have to always remind myself to keep it loud and firm so that critical voice could never stop me from creating from my heart.
‘Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.’ -Nelson Mandela