So, here I am again. I heaved a silent relief on my 27th birthday.
Back to figuring out, back to carving my own path, back to creating life.
Looking at the post I wrote to commemorate 26 years of life, a sense of amusement surged – who was I trying to impress?
I dug through old articles and observed how I evolve as a person, a writer.
I used to write as if I knew everything.
Now that I came to term with knowing nothing, I could write about anything.
I wrote about pain, loss, struggle, wandering.
I wrote about being me, being clueless and trying different things.
I wrote about love, hope, and how people touched my life.
As I wrote, I became an open book.
In the journey of getting lost and finding my way, I tumbled again and again.
Every time I fell flat on the face, I learn a bit more about myself in the chaotic orchestra of tears and heartache.
I remembered an instance where I ran in the rain, tears washing down my face, I asked out loud with shattered spirit – what should I do?
I felt so torn that I couldn’t be broken anymore.
At the peak of emotional breakdown, the world quiet down and clarity surfaced.
Life changes in moment.
With all that I am, I tested and concluded my First Principle of life – follow your heart.
First principle is kind of a physics way of looking at the world. You boil things down to the most fundamental truths and say, what are we sure is true? And then reason up from there. – Elon Musk
I had pursued things that look good and sound good, ended up experiencing the darkest period of emotional turmoil even though I had everything in the world.
When I created words and put it out there in the world, it connected with people and opportunities came unexpectedly, I swooshed along the path without resistance.
I found strength when I honoured diversity and my navigation system.
It is okay to not fit in because you haven’t found your sweet spot yet.
It is okay to not understand algebra because it is not your language.
It is okay to feel like a failure because you haven’t found your strength.
It is okay to keep looking, keep trying, keep falling, and keep going, until we find our fundamental truth and build life upon it.
Our stories matter, our differences matter.
Above all, we learn to love.