When I was able to breath smoothly, it dawned on me how close I was to death.
It started with a post-run walk where I suddenly felt uneasy and rested on a bench. Thing got worse when I had difficulty breathing, literally fighting for air. It gradually slowed down to light, long breath, that was when I realised that if I missed one breath... That’s IT.
As I thought I was getting better, my vision blurred gradually and it intensified, I got a little bit panic knowing that I was going to pass out. Struggling to sit up straight, I discovered that bending my upper body downwards helped me breath.
Head down, I started to pray to universe, God, the higher power up there, please, please help me.
One breath at a time, I slowly recovered.
The first thing that came to me was a quote by Wayne Dyer – “don’t die with your music still in you”.
After a silent 15 minutes of struggle (which felt like fighting for life), I reflected upon life and asked myself, am I treating myself with love? With the time I have in this world, am I spending my life to create something that matters?
Those 15 minutes showed me that life is such a fragile, fleeting thing, all depending on one breathe. If I couldn’t catch my breath there, all the money in my bank account and all possessions I have wouldn’t matter at all.
Walking away from the park, I became a little more determined to fight a little more fearlessly to get my music out in the world.
I looked up at the evening sky and smiled – I was so, so grateful to be alive.