If there is one thing I learn from my relationship, it is parallel with the first verse of the Tao De Jing ‘the name that can be named is not the eternal name’ — love does not need words.
When he kneeled and asked, ‘will you marry me?’, I looked into his eyes and I knew I have the world.
I was shocked, he was nervous, a big and quick ‘yes’ and he put the ring on my finger.
Despite our frosty eyes, nobody cried. We were in a hurry to look for the photographer he hired to shoot our engagement photos.
As we made our way through the beautiful cherry blossom in Nijo Castle, I realized that I just experienced one of the most important moments in my life.
It happened so fast that I couldn’t process it, so brief that it couldn’t justify the magnitude of changes ahead.
I thought of how proposals were done in the movies and realized how misleading they are. Who cares about a big speech? A thousand words cannot convey the depth of a single glance.
At night, when I finally had some me-time in the shower, the reality sank in — we are going to spend the rest of our lives together.
Our journey flashed back, I cried like a baby under the shower head.
I never thought that I would find my life partner on Tinder but the universe has its plan for us.
Even though we never had big fights, there were stark differences standing between us. A creator cannot see what a VC sees, a VC cannot feel what a creator feels.
In the past 3 years, when I was in the process of losing and finding myself, going through multiple cycles of Hero’s Journey, he progressed vertically on a straight path.
When he told me ‘just be you’ and ‘follow your flow’, I knew we came a long way to reconcile and fully embrace each other for who we are.
I can be whoever I want to be because he stands behind me firm and strong. He was there when I plunged to the rock bottom, he stayed by my side when I was in a mess engulfed by fear.
He holds space for me to explore life.
The best life hack
Ryan Holiday said that having the perfect partner is the best life hack that nobody told you about.
I am not sure if there is one universal definition of perfect, but there are certainly things that feel perfect no matter how imperfect they seem.
Like the times we talked under the trees on our favourite trail, every time I see him the moment I hop into his car, and the sudden surge of warmth that makes me want to hold him tight for no reason.
The best life hack is having someone that makes me beam like a sun for no reason and gives me the energy to have hope just because he is there.
In our sprint to getting wedded, many people warned me that ‘you are under-prepared’ for being 6 months away from the big day without any planning done.
In my heart, I thought — well, I already had the thing that matters the most in a marriage.
And yet, there are expectations that we need to fulfil to be a ‘worldly’ couple — that’s the perfect imperfect in life.
No matter how the process unfolds, it will be a perfect adventure with all the necessary ups and downs to make it fun!