After so long, your life is still so fluid. A friend told me recently.
It caused me discomfort and transported me back to a similar conversation we had one and a half years ago. I was emotionally crushed when he told me that I was ‘floating’.
I didn’t know myself well enough to stand up for myself.
Feeling lost and defensive, I articulated reasons, facts and quotes to backed my ‘fluidity’ in life, filling my mind with a list of ‘yes…but…’.
When I heard a similar comment from the same person after 1.5 years, I smiled with a sense of knowing without the need to prove a point.
Between now and then, there are certain things I learned in life that nobody can take away from me.
Follow your heart
When I told my friend about following my heart and respect my feeling, I wasn’t being selfish and wanting an easy way out. I had suffered emotionally in a company that I built when I lost the sense of purpose in what I did.
I learned that purpose comes from growth, meaningful connections and contributing to others’ lives while passion is the emotion I feel from serving others. I lost myself whenever these elements of ‘give’ and ‘take’ went out of balance.
Things that matter
When I told people that family and health are more important than a career, it was because I went through a rock bottom phase where I had no job, career or a goal. People who love me and cared about me stayed with me and walked me through the journey without trying to fix me.
Spending my days with family, reading and running along the riverside, I learned that life can be simple and beautiful just as it is. It changed my perception about what makes life meaningful.
Flow with life
When I told people to stop controlling life and flow with it, it was because I found my first paying client when I showed up in a meeting with passion and honesty despite not having a track record in writing books. The deal we sealed gave me confidence to start a content writing business.
Then I met a new friend who wanted to publish a book. We jumped into a self-publishing project that sounded impossible and made it a reality within 4 months. I learned that when I show up fully in everything I do, things fall into places without my conscious effort.
Authentic confidence comes from life experiences
When the things I know for sure come from a place of brokenness and building myself up from the ruins, no words can shake the trust I have in life, the belief that my path is guided.
I couldn’t help but wonder, how many seekers stop exploring life when someone told them that they are floating?
There are certain things we learn from books, there are certain things that only life can teach us.
When I allowed myself to try and embrace all kind of emotions that crushed my ego, I learned to understand everyone who is fighting their own battle, emotionally or physically.
I learned that life is simple, it is love.
It is a story we tell ourselves, constantly unfolding until the end of it.
Our authentic confidence comes from the experience we have lived through.