I sat down with my legs crossed, eyes closed and a big smile ear to ear, feeling an outburst of joy that ran through my whole body like an electric current.
I was in a silent meditation course. After an hour of meditation, we were instructed to sway our body with the rhythm of bamboo melody.
Moving my limbs and body, I felt like a 6-year-old who danced in absolute blissfulness without any trace of worries in mind.
I hadn’t felt this way in a long, long time.
After that, we were given a piece of paper and crayons to create an art work and write down 4 advices for ourselves at the back of it.
When I looked at the stick figures and snowy mountains in my drawing, I realized that I lost something precious that I used to have as a kid — innocence and presence.
#1 Love yourself more than anything else, don’t beat yourself up
I went to the silent retreat with a lot of worries and doubts dancing in my head. After publishing a book, I found myself falling back down to the valley in search for the next mountain to conquer.
While I was engaged in a few projects, I felt like circling on the ground instead of winding up a mountain. With the freedom to do anything I want, I couldn’t pinpoint one direction to move towards.
What was wrong with me?
I beat myself up and forgot that I made it this far by putting one step in front of another without a map.
I am one of the bravest persons I know, and I’m proud of myself.
#2 The universe has your back, co-create with the universe
While I was thinking about what I could do that people are willing to pay for, I was also thinking about how I can make a name for myself by being ‘special’.
I missed the whole point of life and creation.
I will never be able to write a script of life that is full of twist and turn, discovering a new uncharted sea every time I was forced to the corner.
There is a life force co-creating with me, bringing me the right thing and the right people whenever I do something with love, focus and generosity.
Life flows when I take my ‘ego’ out of the way.
#3 Trust in the nature — everything is ever changing, ever perfect
‘Life is not a matter of ‘winning’ but of surviving as best we can — of breaking and enduring rather than bending the world to our will the way we sometimes suspect we can when we are young and arrogant.’ — Ryan Holiday
While I was trying to control my life, I felt like I was standing strong against the world when in fact, it was softness and bending that had propelled me in life.
I’ve hit the rock bottom to know that there is no storm that never ends. I’ve started things from scratch to know that I thrived and evolved when the circumstance required me to.
Life goes on whether we fight hard or stay still, we can choose to flow with the divine nature without resistance.
#4 The present moment is the only thing that matters
When I was 6 years old, I never asked myself what my passion was. I ran, I sing, I dance, and I draw because I enjoyed doing them.
Why does a decision come with so much worries and doubts now?
It is funny how I understand the concept of mindfulness and yet always lose myself in past and future that has nothing to do with ‘right now’, while ‘right now’ is the only thing that is real.
Right now, live is perfect. Right now, I am loved. Right now, I am enough.
Get out there and celebrate life!
I was wiser at 6 years old
In the process of ‘adulting’, I learned far too many rules, being told too many ‘no’s that I forgot who I really was inside.
When there is no goal, no need for approval or recognition, no need to do something in order to get somewhere, what would I do? How would life be?
I noticed that taking a break and relaxing made me feel guilty when I was figuring out the next step. ‘Time waits for no man’, they said.
Why can’t I spend some time doing things that bring me joy like a child without any expectation?
I believe that when we are in the state of feeling good, we are in the state of love, while love is the energy of all creations.
The universe is co-creating with me in the space of love. Relax, and life goes on.
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